EDITION 26,  VOL. 3 N0. 4  EDITORIAL

“FOMI LETI KIND’ OLOWO”  - - SLAP ME SO THAT I CAN BECOME RICH…

He said “Get off this bus, Blacks are not allowed”. Rosa Parks -the Black American Seamstress told the Bus Conductor in December 1955 “No Way”, even though she was quite aware of the fact that she was … so to speak, breaking the Law in SEGREGATED BUSES.

     Barack Obama reported in THE AUDACITY OF HOPE (page 270) that “with quiet determination and unruffled dignity, Mrs. Rosa Parks had refused to surrender her seat on a bus”. With that precedent, Rosa Parks wrote a new chapter into the history of the United States of America. And, instantly, she became a STAR --- a celebrity --- a role model and a leader.

     Many years later, at her celebrated burial where there were over four thousand mourners including Senator Barack Obama (then), Jesse Jackson and AL SHARPTONS, amongst others, former US President Bill CLINTON rose to speak and described what it had been for him as a “white” Southerner to ride in SEGREGATED BUSES, how the Civil Rights movement that Rosa Parks helped spark had liberated him and his white neighbors from their own bigotry.”

     Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this impresive edition of SOMOLU GLOBAL NEWS -The SGN and are you thinking about how UZOMA OKERE will spend her windfall of a whopping one hundred million Naira? Ms. OKERE, according to THE GUARDIAN of Friday, February 5, 2010, “had allegedly refused to move away to allow the Siren - blowing convoy of a Naval Rear Admiral to pass.” And for breaking that local, crude and barbaric law on “SEGREGATED ROADS” in Nigeria, the Naval Ratings in the Admiral ‘s Convoy descended on Ms. OKERE, stripped her naked and dragged her on the road without any caution from their superior officer. Uzoma went to court and eventually, relying on documentary evidence, Justice Opeyemi OKE of the Lagos High Court, delivered a landmark judgement “on the malicious breach of the fundamental human rights of Ms. Uzoma OKERE and Abdulahi Abdulazeez by four Naval ratings and awarded one hundred million Naira costs to the Plaintiffs”.

     FOMILETI KINDO LOWO O… FOMILETI KINDO LOWO O… O… O…

     What the hell happened to good conduct at the Nigerian Navy? In those days, in the days of Rear Admiral John Akinwale WEY; ADELANWA COMMANDER KENTEBE (oh Jesus of Kent) and WOLE MADARIOLA, we used to look at the Navy in general as the most sacred of all the military. Maybe we got carried away with the style and whiteness of their ceremonial uniform but the behaviour at the Naval headquarters was the most respectable. Even when the new generation of Naval Military Governors like DEINDE JOSEPH and BIODUN OLUSANYA emerged, we still held very high in our hearts that the Nigerian Navy was the most disciplined, most respected, respectable and most stylish.

     Since Uzoma OKERE, like Rosa Parks had made history and set a precedent for ‘gentlemanism’ towards the public by the military, we call upon the United Nations Fund for women; the Nigerian Bar Association; the Federal Ministry of  Women‘s Affairs; the Citizens Forum; Gender and Development Action; the United Nations Department for Human Rights; the African Centre for Women at the United Nations Economic Commission for Africa -ECA; the African Union‘s Department on Women; the Campaign for Democracy the Chambers of Femi Falana, that of Gani Fawehinmi (of blessed memory) to revisit the Uzoma Okere ‘s case and strategically repackage THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN on the continent of Africa; to facilitate the immediate establishment of an UZOMA OKERE FOUNDATION -a non-governmental, not-for-profit and voluntary development organization that will popularize such international and regional mechanisms as the Geneva Conventions 1949; the Universal Human Rights; the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women -CEDAW (1979); the UN Convention on The Rights of The Child -CRC (1989); the Kampala Action Plan for Women and Peace; the Kigali Declaration; the Platform for Action and Beijing Declaration; and many more in this category, and then produced in a compendium so that it serves as a reference point, both for the Military (even their recruits) and students of tertiary institutions.

      Ladies and gentlemen, Capital Punishment used to be such fun in those days when your class teacher or House Master in the dormitory laid you down on your face and applied 24 strokes of the cane on your back and you would weep and cry and cry but as Africans acquired modern education. Our leaders and educators went back to the Drawing Board to redesign new strategies for moulding the attitudes of young students without the “heat“ of the cane.

     We have heard that “the respondents in the case file by Uzoma i.e the Nigerian Navy; Rear Admiral Harry Arogundade; Ratings Francis Okolo, CJ Jeremiah, S.A. Bullen and S.A. Kaniga have since given “notice of  appeal“; claiming “miscarriage of justice“ We have also heard that THE GUARDIAN of Friday, February 5, has said in its editorial that the 100 million Naira awarded to Uzoma Okere and Abdulahi Abuazeez “is perhaps a bit excessive“.

      At SOMOLU GLOBAL NEWS -The SGN, our reaction and advice to Rear Admiral Harry Arogundade ( the fearless warrior, as his name interprets in the Yoruba UNIVERSE) is that he should try as much as he can to prevent the prolonged publicity of this case in the world media, save the Nigerian Navy of the embarrassment of being endlessly referred to as the Plaintiff in this case for God‘s sake, let the sleeping dog lie.

     As far as we can recollect, the Nigerian Navy has never been embroiled in this kind of ridiculous and negative publicity, so why should it now go from hearing to  hearing and have its name dragged on and on in the mud of  this case.

       Secondly, having had a wonderfully brilliant career in the Navy all these years, AROGUNDADE should just, honorably, with all humility pay up the 100 million and let the case die a natural death even though the Press and Historians around the world will not let it. After all, it has happened, and can never be mopped up or entirely forgotten.

      The Naval Ratings who did the beating and dragging of UZOMA do not have the 100 million Naira to pay. As a matter of fact, since thy are just ratings, the only wealth that they may have is their forthcoming salaries. So, if we examine their capabilities analytically we will realize that it may take them years upon years before they can contribute 10 million Naira.

     We honestly feel a little inclined with THE GUARDIAN to conclude that 100 million cost “is perhaps a bit excessive“ but The SGN will admit that  since the Judgment is strategized to serve as a deterrent, it will affect the behaviour of the military in Africa towards their fellow countrymen and specifically women.      FOMI LETI KIN D’ OLOWO… may have been composed for UZOMA OKERE and Abdulahi Abdulazeez. And it will happen only one time in the life of a human being. Even, if at the end of the day, the appeal is granted and the 100 million is slashed by 50 percent, it still remains a windfall.      As for UZOMA and Abdulahi, we must call their attention to the fact that the experience they had on November 3, 2008 is a book that has been written by The God of Abraham, maybe they had been praying fervently over time that they should be rescued from poverty, or they were ambitious about a particular project and God promised to affirm their aspirations by using AROGUNDADE and his Naval ratings to set some historic event in motion.

     This is why the book should be written urgently with the background information on UZOMA, ABDULAHI, AROGUNDADE, The Nigerian Navy as well as the ratings.

The SGN EDITORIAL, Edition 25, Vol 3. N0. 3.

A ‘SCREAMATORIUM’ FOR THE NIGERIAN YOUTH PART II.

Oh yes, everybody needs a place where he can SCREAM!!! “Yee, Aiye mi o!!! where do I go from here,?” most especially when you have been retrenched from the bank and you can no longer provide the monthly allowance for your aged mother - who, incidentally and most unfortunately is a dying diabetic and her corpse, (if in this process she passes on) will be more expensive. You need a place to scream, more so when they say, “gentlemen don’t cry in public”.

      Who the hell said that, you ask Prince Foster Akinpelu.  Who said “gentleman don’t cry in public?” -Omase o. A gentleman will cry in public and even do it in grand style when his employer says, “I am sorry your services are no longer needed here, or that this corporation has to declare bankruptcy.

     Ladies and gentlemen, we hope that you read the first part of “A SCREAMATORIUM FOR THE NIGERIAN YOUTH”. In this edition, we want to concentrate on advising Governor Babatunde Raji FASHOLA, SAN, the Executive Governor of Lagos State, that nothing stops him from buying the concept of creating  SCREAMATORIUMS for the various communities in Somolu, Ajegunle, Iyana Ipaja, Okokomaiko, Obalende, and Ogba; as an initial effort, and that he can even go one step farther to attach a HALFWAY HOUSE to each SCREAMATORIUM, so that those who have screamed their eyes red and are willing to pick up the pieces of their lives, I mean the deportees, the accidental young widows; the retrenched; as well as the burgled; amongst others, can spend the night, at least in the HALFWAY HOUSE to re-energize and re-strategize about “THE REST OF ME” and “Where do I go from here?”.

      Oh yes, we know very well that God made men, strong enough to stand, and free to fall. Nevertheless, dear readers, we are also cognizant of the fact that “the downfall of a man is not the end of his life”. Anybody can fall at any time from any height, at any point in one’s life. Therefore, you have fallen ---- so what?. TOMODE BA SUBU, AWOWAJU, TA GBA LAGBA BA SUBU, A WEYIN WO. If suddenly, you fall and really want to cry, weep, or knock your head against the wall, walk across to the SCREAMATORIUM that is replete with a clinic.  you have enough privacy to momentarily go maaaad.

      You will have the freedom to scream yourself hoarse, and once that scenario is over and you find yourself inside the beautiful and modern/sophisticated bathroom of the SCREAMATORIUM, you are obviously bound to look in the mirror and what do you find, red eyeballs, battered cheeks and that your makeup has been smeared. In addition, as you rest your ass on the toilet seat, you get a brainwave about bean cake frying; bead making; barbing; dancing; hairdressing; events management; and many more. “After all, I am not dead”, you would say unto yourself. By the time you see Greg and Solomon in the Counseling Rooms, your head has been cooled and all the shame that beclouded your spiritual projection is gone --- you smile a little --- laugh a little and then you tell yourself “That is the story of Life”.

      Dear readers, Lagos State does not have time to wait: the rent is counting - we mean the only thing that your property owner does is mark the calendar about his very many tenants in Surulere, Ikorodu and Somolu. Since you are one of them, he will call you after three days if your rent is not paid on time.  EH!!!!!!!!!  Mr.   ajai olorunosebi,  where is this rent.  you always have a reason to be behind? even when you do not have anything to scream about. It’s a great idea to visit the SCREAMATORIUM once in a while to take a seat on the balcony to watch those who are screaming, what are they screaming about : is it shattered dreams; unplanned life; diabolical lovers; insecurity; money-less-ness; joblessness; neglect; loneliness -- actually loneliness is a very wicked phenomenon. It creeps and creeps on you until you make food your only friend and you eat everything AT sight… only to become  overweight, ugly and undesirable… I mean, I am a man, and do not want to have anything to do with a woman who is obese… and if i were a woman, i will naturally resist a man whose huge  and flabby stomach has  completely covered his “center of gravity”.

      Respectable readers of SOMOLU GLOBAL NEWS -The SGN, the HALFWAY HOUSE attached to the SCREAMATORIUM can serve very many purposes. Nigerian Professors of  Psychology can educate you about how great men fell very many times and still ended up being great.

     Look at Uncle Sam AMUKA for instance, look at the experience he had with THE PUNCH in those days before he established VANGUARD NEWSPAPER. Even though he fought a good fight, he could never have been able to establish his own newspaper if he did not have the will power.      Kunle Omotosho -the writer did not fall, what happened was that things were not moving very well for him in Nigeria and  without a SCREAMATORIUM at his disposal, he quickly moved to South Africa. Kunle Omotosho is still very much alive and making his mark on the  pages of history.      At this point in Nigeria , millions of young men and women can utilize the various services of the SCREAMATORIUM. We mean, you decide to take your girlfriend out to dinner and you have just had the most wonderful evening of your life, but on arriving at the car park, your N3.5 million Naira Jeep is gone. What do you do? You stop by at the nearest SCREAMATORIUM … or how much of the heat can you keep on the inside? Apart from the fact that your mouth feels sour, the shock preempts all the romance you were feeling at  dinner time.

      We mean, on another occasion and another time, you purchased one used car (a Tokunbo) from HE REPUBLIC OF BENIN and you count yourself as lucky because you were able to escape the payment of Import Duties to the Customs Department. As you were driving home to Ibadan from Lagos , you stopped at Ogere,  the fmr.  toll gate to get some SUYA… this clean-shaven and very well dressed gentleman tapped you on the shoulder and said, “Can I see your particulars. You took it like a joke, but since you did not pay the one hundred and fifty thousand Naira Import Duties to the Federal Government, this Custom Officer bluntly demanded the sum of  twenty thousand Naira as bribe. That was on a Friday night and the total amount of money in your pocket was exactly twelve thousand four hundred Naira… just for the weekend. At the end of the day, you ended up paying ten thousand Naira. Well, after you had paid it, you went to a nearby bush to do a hot “Number Two” even though you did not need water to flush it but it was hot anyway.

      The plan to spend the weekend in Ibadan had been exclusively frustrated. Which is the nearest SCREAMATORIUM, where you can Yell ---OLOOSI, son of a Goddamn bitch. After you sweat all over you can cool off in the SCREAMATORIUM’s bathroom and quietly drive back to your apartment.  Gradually, you resign yourself to the craftiness and shenanigans of your Custom Officer Friend.