EDIT OPINION, THE SGN VOL 3, NO.2. 

A ‘SCREAMATORIUM’ FOR THE NIGERIAN YOUTH : WHAT NEXT? 

Every parent in Nigeria should be asking that question at this point in time.    WHAT NEXT after the FARAOUK ABUDULMUTALLAB's attempt crazily to destroy the lives of innocent citizens who were almost home for the celebrations at Christmas 2009.   What next in the line of terrorism by restless and angry Nigerian Youths:  The pampered who does not have an idea of what it feels to be hungry:  deported:  dressed down in broad daylight in the public.  What next with the unfortunate Nigerian youth who has suddenly become a migration victim and wasting away in the prison in foreign countries.    What next with the neglected Nigerian Youths who must now fend for themselves:  the one recklessly abandoned and could never find his feet;   What about the innocent refugees of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child... we mean those who have inevitably lost all their rights.

      There are lonely and angry Nigerian Youths who must express their dangerous angers by also inviting dangerous coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs and tobacco.  Actually, there are some Youths, devastated and disillusioned, who have taken to the streets in the company of marijuana and cocaine, some of them even went one-step farther by establishing one-room apartments in the bottom of the "bottle".

       Ladies and Gentlemen of the Somolu Global News universe, welcome to this of THE SGN in the Year 2010, Happy New Year to you all.

      If your Christmas Turkey was elegantly stuffed and OVEN-ROASTED, please accept our congratulations at The SGN.  If it was ordinarily fried with donated ORORO, we also thank The God of

Abraham, because as you were chewing happily the leg of the Turkey, some people were reminiscing in the mortuary.  ENI ODUN BA BA LAIYE, KOMAA DUPE.

 If however, the closest you got to the OVEN was through a modest MEAT PIE and an OROBO during the Christmas Season, ARIRUE RI.   What is important for all of us in the Year 2010 is that we must try to develop a die-hard attitude that will enable us to cope with the shocks and vibrations that will continue to unfold in the coming months as a result of FAROUK ABDULMUTALLAB.

      WHAT NEXT? Was the question we asked at the very beginning of this article.   In our opinion at SOMOLU GLOBAL NEWS, we feel that the time has come for the Hon.  Minister of YOUTH DEVELOPMENT in Nigeria to establish what is known as a SCREAMATORIUM in each capital city in Nigeria and heavily fund it for the utilization of the Nigerian Youths.

      A SCREAMATORIUM, dear readers of the SGN is a place where you can go when you are angry:  in a state of MANIC DEPRESSION, frustration and hopelessness.   When push comes to shove and it looks like the entire world is coming to an end, please drop in at the SCREAMATORIUM in your community.   As you come into the hall, you will find the Registration Room on the right.   It is managed by a six-footer retired Army officer who is also a sharp shooter, an expert at iron pumping and a family man; he knows it all and can manage any human being.

      He welcomes you with a smile and points to the register.  Quickly you enter the necessary information.   Then you go through the door and you find this delicately beautiful lady who smiles and reminds you that the reason why she now works for the SCREAMATORIUM Is because for the first five years of her adult life, she was a prostitute and could not have been saved except for the efforts of one of the counselors at the place.   On the first day that she came in, she screamed, and screamed, punched the bags and even broke many plates and by the time she retired into the Counseling Room, she made up her mind that she would make a U-TURN about her life.

      Dear SGN readers please do not get us wrong about the nature of the SCREAMATORIUM because it is quite different from A YOUTH CENTER where you can swim, play games and even socialize.    A SCREAMATORIUM is quite different from that as it is heavy stuff.  After you part with the soothing voice of the fmr.  Prostitute, you go through a huge  iron door and enter into a large hall which looks almost like a gym but not at all.   Although there are staff members of the ‘SM’ who are keeping an eye on you through the pigeon holes in their offices,  you are left alone in this hall and you can punch the bags on the wall, you hit the walls, you can actually pick up some chinaware and throw them at the wall.  After all, you are angry, very angry and you really do not want to take your anger on anyone.   After you have destroyed an awful lot of items, you suddenly realize that you are tired.  Then a voice comes from nowhere and says, "MR.  ESANOGBOOGUN,"   you look right and left and you do not see anyone.  Nevertheless, you listen again, and the voice continues, MR.  ESAOGBOOGUN, the bathroom is down the hall on the right:    Okay, since you are exhausted and have destroyed several items, you feel like you need a quiet place at least alone. Then you move towards the bathroom and as you try to use the bathroom,   another voice comes in and says, “Once you are done in the bathroom, please call GREG AND SOLOMON.  Greg will serve you lunch and Solomon will chat with you on any subject in the world.

      You   climb upstairs and you meet Greg who serves you a hot meat with fresh fish and soft drinks.  Thanks to the COCA COLA company  which  supplies twenty crates of soft drinks to each SCREAMATORIUM around the country   After lunch, that dangerous anger is gradually disappearing from your psyche but  you still  need a stick of cigarette.   Greg regrets that cigarettes are not served at the SCREAMATORIUM and you quickly push that aside so that you can meet with Solomon who will discuss with you any subject of your choice.

 That is what you get on your first visit to the SCREAMATORIUM but the services there are too many to count.

      Dear readers, are we just going to be talking and discussing the FAROUK ABDULMUTALLAB scenario, when are we going to start strategizing the prevention of another shock? If this time around it comes from a Nigerian girl,   we are not saying that it will happen, but what if it does? What is the nature of the EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS of the Nigerian Government.  A haa! You may say that   : ‘Prince Foster Akinpelu and your crew members, you worry too much, after all, we have the NAVY, AIR FORCE, POLICE and the ARMY.”   On our part, we will say AMIN!   AMEN!!  AAAAAAAAAAMIN!!!

  Our suggestion   number 2 is that our Aunt at the House of Representatives in Abuja, FCT, MRS.  ABIKE DABIRI EREWA   of the Diaspora Affairs fame, should establish a mechanism that monitors the affairs of Nigerians in the Diaspora... every Nigerian that lives outside the shores of this country should be monitored.   Where is he located:  either he is in jail or on the floor of the American  Congress, even if he is driving the Metropolitan   Double decker Bus in the city of London,  Dabiri must record  necessary information about his activities so that when another "FAROUK ABDULMUTALLAB"  goes

berserk, Nigeria will be able to prevent the disaster.

       What is this Nigerian doing abroad:   how is he doing it:  with what, for what and for whom: ABIKE DABIRI-EREWA must now liaise with all the educational institutions around the world and in the same vein, any Nigerian that is granted an Entry Visa to any country in the world must be reported to MAMA DABIRI so that DIASPORA AFFAIRS can keep an eye on the movement. To know what Nigerian students are doing, the company they keep and how they socialize, and so on and so forth. It is important to act fast.